First dates can be many things: exciting, nerve wracking, awkward, or fun. Much of how a first date feels can depend on the conversation. Does the conversation flow? Are you feeling interested in what they are saying? Do they seem interested in what you are saying? Do you have things in common? All of this ladders up to whether or not your date will leave you wanting more or wanting to simply leave.

The best way to make sure you are set up for success is to prepare to steer the conversation to different topics. When you are first getting to know someone, you are going to usually stick to surface level conversation about lots of different things. As you get comfortable with them or find a topic of mutual interest, you might start to disclose more personal aspects of those topics. 

You will also want to come across as interested in the other person, and the most effective way to do that is through asking questions. Talking about our selves is one easy way to start feeling comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. You taking an interest in learning more about your date will make them feel liked and seen. It perhaps goes without saying (but I'll say it anyway) that you will actually need to listen to what they are saying and ask some follow up questions.

Now, I told you that you will want to be prepared to steer the conversation in different directions, and asking questions may help to make your date feel comfortable and like you are interested in them. So, what should you ask them? Here are some questions and topics you can broach on a first date:

  1. Location: Where are you from? How long have you lived here? What had you moving here?
  2. Food: What do you like to eat? Is there a dish you think about often? Do you have a favorite restaurant/what is it?
  3. Hobbies: What do you like to do for fun? Do you like sports? Do you enjoy crafts? Do you play an instrument?
  4. Close relationships: Tell me about your friends, what do you like to do together? What about your family?
  5. Career: What do you do for work? Is this always what you wanted to do? How do you get on this path?
  6. Education: Did you go to college? What did you study? What was the best class you ever took? What was your favorite subject in school?
  7. Travel: Do you like the travel? What's your favorite vacation spot? What type of trips do you prefer (beach, city, camping, etc.)
  8. Movies/TV/Music: Do you like to watch movies/TV? What are your favorite shows/movies/artists? Is there something you are watching right now? What are songs are in rotation for you right now?

After conversing a bit and things are winding down, you may want to broach the subject of your non-starters. If you have certain things that must be true in order for you to date someone (interest in a committed relationship, interest in having children, political/religious alignment, etc.). I wouldn't start with these topics because, in the end, this is a chance to meet someone new and have a good time. But, in the end, you may want to ask about these topics if you are interested in seeing your date again. "I want you to know that I had a great time with you, and i could see myself wanting to see you again. With that being said, I want to make sure we are on the same page about a few things that are important to me."

Being prepared with different topics to bring up can help reduce some pressure and allow you to focus on learning more about the people you are meeting!